Tag Archives: tarotpy

Finding Comfort and Peace: Processing the Death of a Loved One

“I would rather have died instantly than to have my family watch me go through this!” proclaimed Bud, a father in his 60’s ravaged by cancer.

“Coming from my experience, you are giving your family a gift by allowing them to process your death with you rather than disappearing one day, leaving words and issues unspoken and unresolved. Now they will be able to slowly let go and accept your death. It took me 10 years to process my father’s death when he died out of the blue. I would not wish that on anyone!” I proclaimed, fighting back the tears.

“Oh, I guess I never thought of it that way,” sighed Bud.

That one brief conversation was one of the most impactful things I said to him on our last visit together.

I knew as I drove up to see him, that it would be the last time that we would do so when he was alive. The cancer had spread so fast after his surgery that it was only a matter of time before it would take over all of his facilities, shutting down his body.

Knowing this, I asked him if I could do a Tarotpy Reading for him – something that he probably never would have been open to before he was facing his own mortality. His question to the cards was not about his own dying process, but rather whether or not his family would be okay after he died. In his layout he created a spot for each of his immediate family members: his wife and three daughters, along with a card for finances (not depicted below).

This layout does not depict all of the cards that where selected.
The Dreamer’s Journal Deck by Barbara Moore. *This layout does not depict all of the cards that where selected.

Overall, Bud was able to see through the cards that his family would be okay, although it was clear that his wife would have much heartache to process after his departing.

The Dreamer's Journal Deck by Barbara Moore
The Dreamer’s Journal Deck by Barbara Moore

I felt a relief come over him as we worked through the images, that it gave him a glimpse into the future – past the fear, past the worry, past the grief. That he could allow in some peace, that his family would recover.

Wanting his loved ones to also find some comfort, each one received a Journey Reading (smaller 2 card reading) to look into their own lives. His wife Chris, pulled one of the same cards as he did, creating a synchronistic moment that allowed her to feel connected to him and something bigger. The two daughters that were in town, their cards focused on their immediate situations in their lives.

In the end I left feeling so grateful to be there for them in their time of need, and that because of my life experience with death I could be of service in a way that was unexpected.

———~~~~~~———-

 

When I was young, the family on my mother’s side faced a huge divide shrinking my large family into just three of us. After that I learned to create the family that I wanted with impactful people that entered my life.

I met Deanna at the end of 5th grade. She was my neighbor and a year below me in school. She was shy and quiet, something that you would never in a million years guess if you met her today. We bonded quickly and decided that we were going to tell everyone that we were cousins. We spent every possible minute together from there on out with most of those years at her home, which is how I built a relationship with her father, Bud.

It had been many years since I had been to Sacramento, as life in Los Angeles consumed me as I aged. But that never changed my relationship with Deanna, Bud or the rest of the family. Bud had always treated me and even called me his daughter, along with telling me that he loved me.

When I found out he had passed, I was filled with grief and tears. Not only was he a father figure in my life, he passed away the weekend before Memorial Day – almost 20 years from when my father died (in 1995 after Memorial Day). I thought how synchronistic it was that out of all the months in the year, Bud died within weeks of the anniversary of my father’s death. As it was, Bud had already out lived the time that he was given by the doctor’s. He was a fighter all the way to the end.

Then I thought about our previous conversation of my experience with losing my father out of the blue verses losing my grandmother over time, and how it had impacted his thought process about his own death so much. To me, these were two synchronistic experiences around my father and him.

When I returned to be with them for the funeral, I had everyone pick a card as a divine message while I did a private reading with the last daughter. Bud’s wife, Chris, had become worried about finances in the wake of losing Bud, which had already been a concern for Bud before he died. In the mix of craziness of his departing, the herds of family/friends visiting, and putting together a celebration of his life, Chris still had a lingering concern over how the finances would all play out in the future. The message she received was thus: “Bright Future: Stop worrying. Everything is going to be fine.”

Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.
Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

It continued by saying, “There are no tests, blocks or obstacles in your way, except your own projections of fear into your future” (Guidebook for the Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D., p. 73). A brightness and relief came back into her face, as she found solace in receiving this card.

With these beautiful images, words and moments, a family was able to find some comfort. If you or someone you know would like to find comfort in the process of losing a loved one or have a loved one who has passed on (whether human or animal), please contact me for an appointment so I too can help them find some peace.

Thank you to the family of Bud Gagner for allowing me to share this story. May this be an added memory to his life. xo

____________________

Athena Kolinski, M.A.

Intuitive Reader ~ Tarotpy Practitioner ~ Dreamworker ~ Professor  

Athena is a Religious Studies professor for the online bachelor’s program at University of Philosophical Research, where she attained her second master’s degree in Consciousness Studies. She also attended California State University, Northridge for her first M.A. in Interdisciplinary Studies (focus in Religious and Chicano Studies), and a B.A. in Religious Studies.  Athena is a certified Tarotpy Practitioner and New DreamWork Coach, as well as an active member of International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD).

Athena offers individual and group life guidance and dream interpretation sessions using the Tarot, Tarotpy and various dreamwork methods. In these sessions, she guides others to find answers towards their path using her intuitive/psychic abilities. She also blogs her dreams and interprets them using various methods with the Tarot. She has been a regular guest intuitive reader on “Your Life and Purpose Revealed” on Living Well Talk Radio Network, interviewed on the D-Spot by Kelly Sullivan Walden, and featured as a dream expert at the NewDreamwork Summit and NewDreamwork Day with David Dibble.

Contact Athena at: Starcarddreaming@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

Reflecting on April

As I alluded to last month in “THE TOWER OF SUDDEN CHANGE” (can’t you just hear the dark, creepy voice with booming thunder behind it), the  astrological events of April were looking to be a time of huge change for me. Well it was, but not the way I expected. I was really preparing for some outer event to shake up my life, leading to intense inner work – but that was not the case. Instead, it turned out be an inner realization that is affecting my outer life, requiring me to change much of the way I was doing things in relation to my career.

And even with the inner realization hitting me pretty hard, it was not nearly as bad as the realization in October/November during those crazy astrological influences (read “The Wounded Feminine”). Although April’s enlightenment was a very sudden deep emotional epiphany, I suppose it wasn’t as shocking as it could have been. The idea had been slowly seeping into my mind due to a couple of synchronistic conversations two days prior, allowing for the force of it to not be as dramatic.

Enlightenment
This is so true for the Tower Card.

The realization or ENLIGHTENMENT was thus – I have always worked to make others great, but have not focused on what I need to do to excel myself. Aha! Doesn’t seem that complicated, does it?!  Well when you are in it, you can’t see it, but others usually do. Sometimes the simplest idea, is the most powerful!

My life purpose is to be of service to others, and I have felt that way since I was a child. Over the years, I have dedicated much of my energy to helping others by giving them what they are lacking in their life and raise them up on various levels (emotionally, financially, mentally, physically, etc). Perhaps nothing that I can point out and say that I changed this persons life or became a benefactor for someone on the street, but I have given so much of myself energetically to many people over the years. I have done this in relationships, jobs, for bosses, for friends, for strangers, and for loved ones –  filling in the pieces of what others needed, working to improve their outlook, self, business and life. Some of the giving that I have done in my past has transformed itself into reciprocity towards me over the last few years, which has taught me humility, love and true friendship. Others, people and jobs, were bottomless pits of need, who I gave to until I was exhausted and sick (which are now out of my life or kept at a distance).

Now it is time to invest in the betterment of myself. And the kicker is that by doing this, I will actually be giving to others in an even bigger way then I have ever been able to do before. It is time for me to focus on excelling my career: meaning honoring the work that has come from my second thesis, making it the focus of my business, and  turning the thesis into a book. All of which will require a lot of dedication, research, and time from me. And as things change at home (like my two year old getting harder to go down for naps), I will have to find ways to circumnavigate situations as they arise. As part of this, I will need to modify the Life Guidance and Dream Interpretation readings to incorporate more of the “Mythology of the Major Arcana” – which is really what I do on Blogtalkradio.com (although that has not been made clear).

Perhaps because we are in the sign of Taurus (and that is my rising sign), I am feeling the need to test out some of my ideas with others. So, with that said, the first 6 people who read this and respond to me will get a SPECIAL discounted reading for $30. The session will be an hour reading in which I can test some new methods, and also provide a Tarotpy reading for either dreams or life guidance. Either way you get 60 minutes of looking into your life.

 

The Tower of Sudden Change

By Oswald Wirth
By Oswald Wirth

Life provides information like pieces of a puzzle. We are handed one, two or a handful of pieces at a time but cannot make out the bigger picture with that which we hold. And when we notice their connection and can make out an image or portion of this puzzle, it is like a lightening shock within. That is what happened to me…

 On February 17th, I did a Life Guidance Tarotpy reading for myself after my home was broken into and my computer was stolen. I was feeling so frustrated and stuck, as it completely halted my progress with projects, and left me feeling extremely violated. The images of the cards in correlation with the positions that I created really reflected how I felt and my concerns at the time. I formed the layout of the cards in the shape of an arrow. At the top or tip of the arrow, I labeled position “moving forward”. Now since the other cards were more focused on the negative aspects of the break-in, I was hoping that this particular placement would give me inspiration in the midst of all that had occurred.

IMG_2096
Excuse the scribbles, just check out the shape of the arrow.

Instead, it gave me rise to concern. I pulled the Tower card– the one freaking card in the deck that no one wants to select. Forget the concern over the Death card, the Tower card indicates sudden forced change that usually is experience as both an outer and inner life event. It is the card that shakes up your world and tears down old patterns, ego and beliefs – forcing you to rebuild from a new perspective. The outer life event that usually occurs with it, really shocks you (as shown in the lightening/fire blasting the tower). We all have to experience this type of upheaval to speed up change in our lives, but when we are in the process – it can be unpleasant. Basically, I knew that the Tower card or sudden forced change was in my future, just was not sure of when.

On March 3, I got my very first Astrology chart reading that was amazing, with so much information that I had to take notes. Towards the end of the reading, I was given dates of when big changes took place in the past, as well as dates for big changes in the future. The Astrologer gave me the date of April 14th, 2014 as a time for huge forced changes. Next to the date I made an arrow and wrote, “moving forward”.

Again, just notice the arrow after “April 14th” and “Huge Change”. The circle and words Tower Card were added after the realization.

On March 19, and like every third Wednesday of the month now, I do Tarot readings on a Blogtalkradio.com show. For the readings, I use a two-card pull from the Major Arcana to read where someone is in their individuation process. For the readings I shuffle the cards between each person and lay the cards facing downward. When they come on the air and say their name, I blindly select a card for them by moving it a half inch up from the other cards that are spread out (but do not look at the card). When it’s my turn to read I ask the caller to select a card by telling me when to stop as I float my hand above the deck.  Out of the 7 readings that we did that day, the Tower card was pulled 5 times ! That is clearly more than chance on the probability scale considering there are 22 cards in the Major Arcana and a total of 14 cards (2 per person) were pulled. On the last call, both the caller and I pulled the same card, the Tower Card. It was clear from the reading and conversation that she was deep in the zone of the Tower, with the likelihood of more to come (Click here to listen to the show). After the third pull of the Tower card, I felt compelled to mention that April would be a huge month astrologically for change and this card may be alluding to the effects it will have on those callers received it.

On April 1st, I put all of these pieces of this puzzle together! I just happened to look through my notes from the Astrology Chart reading and the Tarotpy session when the realization hit me. I subconsciously wrote the phrase “moving forward” right next to the date when the huge change is supposed to be at its pinnacle for me. I also just happened to use the arrow formation for the Tarotpy session and as part of my astrological chart notes, placing the same phrase “moving forward” at the tip of the arrow.  All of this combined with the caller’s readings, reminded me that many people all over the country/world are also feeling or going to be feeling the impact of the Tower card in their lives.

In an effort to prepare myself for the month ahead, I did another Life Guidance Tarotpy reading. In this formation I chose 5 cards, placing me at the center and 4 cards around me in a square (like the domino five). Two cards in particular caught my attention (no, I did not get the Tower card in this new reading, rather I created a space called the unexpected to honor it).

Dante Tarot
Dante Tarot

In the position that I labeled as “me” I got the Emperor, and the position I labeled as “unexpected” I got the card Principalities (from the Dante Tarot aka the World card in traditional decks). In the Principalities card, I noticed how the pathway was open to the divine knowledge, by two guards holding a shield with a giant red cross on it. It hit me that this card could be referring to the Cardinal Grand Cross as a time that will open up my connection to the divine and my divine purpose, which was mentioned by the astrologer. She stated that the lunar eclipse will push me towards my higher purpose.

Oswald Wirth Tarot
Oswald Wirth Tarot

Then I looked to the Emperor card from the Oswald Wirth deck. The Emperor is wearing armor with a sun on his right breast and the moon on his left breast, holding an orb with a cross at the top RIGHT BETWEEN the sun and the moon. This month we are going to experience a lunar eclipse (actually on April 15th) followed by the Grand Cardinal Cross (April 20th) and then a solar eclipse (April 29th). Thus I will bear the changes to come, whatever they might be. Note that this particular depiction of the Emperor is NOT on most decks, and I used three different decks for the whole layout. (Ah, synchronicity… an experience and sign of interconnectedness.)

These huge astrological events that are coming up this month are going to happen in such a short period of time. The energy from these astrological events is not only going to be effect me, its going to effect the world and the people in various ways. Taking notice of these four separate synchronistic events in my life, have revealed a bigger image on the puzzle. My Tower card of sudden change will be taking place with inner and outer events coming up this month, along with many others who are or will feel its impact. It is not something that I or anyone can control or even really prepare for. We just need to be open and flow with the changes as they come. In the end all of the experiences will change me (and you if you choose) for the better, opening up the pathway towards my higher purpose of service to others.

“Synchronicity is an ever present reality for those who have eyes to see it.”  – Carl Jung